Jake and Justin are two close friends. One day they got introduced to a new woman who didn't treat them well and who seemed to be arrogant according to their own perception.
On their way Home they further reinforced the way they perceived her by discussing the matter together. For the next few weeks they both tried to avoid her as much they could.
Few weeks later Justin got introduced to a new woman who behaved the same way as the old one they knew earlier but this time the woman apologized for her behaviour at the end of the meeting and said that she had a real bad day and that's why she couldn't smile.
Justin got encouraged by her words and asked her what does she think of him and she replied telling him that he is a very interesting person.
At this point he came up with a new theory! What if the woman they met earlier had a bad day as well? What if the problem was with his perception and not with the woman!
What if his incorrect perception was controlling his behaviour right now!
At this point Justin decided to go back to the first woman with a smile on his face. Something that he never did since the first time he met her. Because all human beings love to feel wanted and needed the woman responded in a good way to him and his theory was proven right! (see How to deal with people correctly)
Jake on the other hand kept on his old beliefs and didn't change his perception of her and as a result he never managed to become good friends with her just like Justin did.
What can we conclude from this story?
The way we perceive events affects our behaviour to a great extent!
The guys spent weeks avoiding the woman because she was arrogant according to their own perception which was completely wrong!
After reading this story many people conclude that in order for a person to communicate properly with people he must adjust his perception.
While that conclusion is partially correct still it will never help anyone to change his behaviour, do you know why?
Did you notice when did Justin decide to come up with a new theory that changed his perception? He only came up with it when he felt confident about himself after the second woman told him that he was interesting!
This means that unless you begin by changing your beliefs about yourself your perception of the different events you go through will always be incorrect!!
You will always come up with theories that supports your beliefs about yourself whether they are right or wrong just like Justin Did. In the beginning, when he wasn't sure that he was interesting, he quickly assumed that the girl was arrogant but later when he knew that he was interesting he assumed that she had a bad day. (see also How beliefs affects behaviour)
So in short, your beliefs about yourself affects your perception which in turn affects your behaviour. Change your beliefs and you will see the world correctly.
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Want to know more?
How the subconscious mind affects behaviour
How to analyze someone's behaviour
Perception and physcial attractiveness
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