The Meta model is one of the very useful tools that can be used in communication because it counters the effect of Deletions, Distortions and Generalizations that people usually make while communicating.
The Meta model is part of Neuro-linguistic programming and is sometimes referred to as a Meta language because it involves changing the way you use the language in order to communicate more effectively.
Without noticing people usually filter their experiences by deleting some parts, distorting others and generalizing these experiences. Below are examples that will make all three types clear:
Distortion: I am sure he hates me , I am sure that this was a fake smile
deletion: no one ever liked me and when people tell me they do, its always a complement
generalization : All men cheat
These transformations that people make to the situations they face make these situations appear as if they were bad and intolerable ones.
People usually filter what they hear or see in order to prove their existing prejudgments true. For example, if a guy lacks self confidence he will delete all compliments he receives, he will distort reality to prove that people hate him and he will over generalize by saying that no one ever loved him.
The Meta model involves being more specific in order to prove to others that their filters have changed their real experiences. Lets take the three examples mentioned above and see how can you ask questions using the meta model in order to deal with them:
I am sure he hates me , I am sure that this was a fake smile
Meta: why are you sure? what evidence do you have to prove it?
No one ever liked me and when people tell me they do, it’s always a complement
Meta: haven’t you ever met a person who liked you? Ever?
All men cheat
Meta: don’t you even know one man who don’t?
As you can see the main purpose of Meta language is to prove to those people that they were wrong and that they have distorted the reality by these distortions, deletions and generalizations. By the way, you can also use the meta language with yourself whenever you find yourself making irrational judgments or distorting your own reality.
One of the main uses for the Meta model is changing your core beliefs. Lets suppose hat you believe that you are inferior, in such a case asking yourself questions using the Meta model will let you realize that your beliefs are based on nothing.
Many of the psychological disorders people suffer from result from the false beliefs those people acquired throughout their lives.
By challenging beliefs using the Meta model you can build self confidence, become optimistic and life a better live.
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