In my previous article Why criticism hurts i said that people always see a reflection of their personal flaws in each negative comment they get.
A guy i know looks good but whenever someone rejects him he believes that it happened because of his looks. The guy proposed to a girl and she said that she is not interested in him and so he quickly concluded that she didn't like his looks forgetting that there are tens of other factors involved.
Because i know them both i had the chance to notice the girl's body language while the guy was present. The weird thing i noticed is that the girl was unconsciously doing the body language attraction signals while looking at the guy.
When the guy knew this as well he started to ask the question, why did she reject me then!!
In order to know why the girl rejected the guy we have to know a little more about her past. This girl, even though she looks great, has a real bad self image problem.
She doesn't think that she is attractive nor she thinks that she is worthy! The girl found the guy attractive but because of her bad past experiences she wanted to prove to the world that she can make a more attractive guy fall in love with her!
So in fact the girl didn't reject the guy because she didn't like his looks but rather because her low self esteem forced her to look for another better looking guy. All what the girl cared about is letting others realize that she can hunt the most attractive guys around because she thought that everyone thinks that she is not that worthy!
Now the big mistake that girl made is that she assumed that everyone sees attractiveness the way she sees it while that's completely wrong. (see Physical attractiveness perception)
The other mistake she did is that she moved away from a person she found attractive just because she wanted to appear more worthy in front of others (of course this makes no sense because the whole plan was built on her false assumptions)
The guy felt so bad when he was rejected because he never knew these facts nor he had that knowledge about psychology. But when he knew these facts he felt much better about himself. So what conclusions can we make out of that true story?
I am not saying that people wont reject you for reasons that are related to your own flaws but in many cases the rejections that make you feel really bad will have nothing at all to do with you.
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