One of my readers was unhappy because her friend told her in an indirect way that she is not attractive. Usually when a person attacks another directly in a harsh way i find jealousy to be one of the causes.
But there is something unusual here, what does the attractiveness perception has to do with jealousy? Is there any connection?
Yes there is, read this post to know why can a jealous friend find you unattractive.
A study was carried out by dividing subjects into three groups then asking other subjects to treat each group in a certain way. The first group was treated with kindness, the second group was treated badly and the third group was treated in a natural way.
The subjects were then asked to rate the attractiveness of the people in the three groups. The subjects reported that they found the ones they treated in a kind way more attractive than the ones they treated in a bad way!
In other words people tend to justify the actions they do by altering their beliefs about the world and that's a famous form of self deception. (see also Self deception examples)
Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort caused by holding two conflicting beliefs. It was found that humans have the tendency to ease this discomfort by altering one of the conflicting beliefs.
In other words a jealous person will try to prove that you are bad in every way not to admit that he is jealous of you.
When a person puts another in mind he will always keep looking for his flaws. Once the subconscious mind is directed to find someone's flaws (as a result of hatred or jealousy) then it will become sensitive to each small mistake that this person makes even if it was trivial.
If for example someone had a bad hair day then it's quite common that a jealous person believes that he is not attractive.
Before a negative remark makes you feel bad you need to first ask yourself an important question, Is that person who said the negative comment jealous of you?
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Want to know more?
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How to deal with jealous people
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