What causes infidelity in relationships

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

What causes infidelity in relationships

What do some people cheat?
what causes infidelity?
Why are so many people not satisfied with their spouses?

In my previous article Why do people cheat i said that people who don't understand the fact that certain hormones fade at certain stages of the relationship can cheat on their partners when they meet someone who makes them experience the effect of these hormones again.

For example the man who cheats on his wife because he can longer experience the same infatuation he used to experience before is a perfect example of a person who cheats because he didn't understand the stages of love quit well. (see also The psychology of love)

While this is a popular reason for cheating still it doesn't explain why do some other people who understand this fact cheat!

In this post i will tell you about many other reasons that could lead to infidelity. All of these reasons can be grouped under one big common root cause which is making the wrong choice!

cheating & Making the wrong choice

In many cases people cheat because they have chosen the wrong person for them!
here are some examples that will explain the concept:

  • 1) Poor choice because of Low self worth: People who have a low self esteem might get committed to people whom they don't truly love just because they believe that they can't attract the ones they really love! Those people don't only stop at this stage but they take a step further by deceiving themselves and claiming that they married the ones they really wanted to marry only to end up as cheaters!
  • 2) Poor choice because of fear: Out of the fear of ending up alone or out of the pressure that the society puts on certain people they get into a relationship whenever they get the chance to even if they were not that convinced. After some time those people find themsleves unhappy and thus start cheating if their values allowed them to cheat
  • 3) Poor choice because of the influence of friends: In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i explained how the constant programming of someone's mind by friends can make him become attracted to a person whom he wasn't interested in. A third group of people get into relationships after their friends keep convincing them over and over to be with certain persons! Usually friends recommend people who are good for them but this doesn't mean that those people are going to be good for you! People who get into relationships because of that same kind of pressure might end up being unfaithful when they discover that they didn't marry the person they wanted to marry! (see also Attracting someone who is not interested)
  • 4) poor choice because of lack of self understanding: Most people don't really understand their needs and as a result they don't know what they want. Because of that problem those people confuse attraction with long term commitment and get committed to the first person they get attracted to without realizing that they are doing a big mistake. One of the major causes of infidelity is finding that your spouse is not helping you meet your important unmet needs. If you didn't get enough self understanding you won't get the chance to understand your needs and you might make the wrong choice (see also Unmet needs psychology)

Final words about making the correct choice

Go after what you really want after understanding what you really need.
Don't look at what you could get but look at what you really want.

Forget about the recommendations of your friends for you are the one who is going to live with that person you will get committed to and not them.

In short, make the right choice and you will be faithful.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

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