When asked how to build self confidence many experts reply saying that setting goals and achieving them is one of the important actions a person should take.
Buy why do some people make many achievements yet never manage to feel self confidence?
The problem is not in the advice itself but rather in the way the person understand it.
Let me explain more, if you were very successful in your career but didn't have any friends then most probably achieving any more career success will never help you become more confident however if you managed to make friends your self confidence will certainly go up.
The first lesson you must understand about how achievements affect self confidence is that unless they are in the right direction they might not have any effect.
In order to become self confident you first need to find out the problematic areas in your life then work on achievements that would help you overcome them.
Lets suppose you found that you are confident when it comes to using computers but you lack confidence when it comes to approaching strangers. In such a case you will only become confident when you work on learning how to approach strangers.
Depending on achievements only to feel confident might be a dangerous strategy because as we all know a change can happen over night and take your achievements away from you.
In order to prevent this from happening you need to find out the traits that helped you make the achievements and then feel confident because of them instead of feeling confident because of your achievements.
For example, during your journey to achieve your goals you might discover that you are persistent, self motivated, competitive or that you have some other good trait that you were not aware of. Once you start to depend on your personality traits to feel self confident your self esteem will be much more stable.
If you didn't relate your achievements to your traits you will lose your confidence as soon as you lose your achievements.
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I don't have any good traits!!
I always fail even though i try hard
How to set goals and achieve them?
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