My name is Ben, and I am not that handsome. Maybe I have a poor self image or maybe I truly am unattractive but in the end the results are the same.
I get too shy when I approach new people, my heart beats and I feel that people will reject me before I even start to talk. This prevents me from being comfortable while talking and so I end up appearing clumsy in front of everyone.
I think I am better than this, I am a good person and am well educated. I could talk about a wide variety of topics without being thought of as boring or clumsy but my looks are limiting my potential. If I were better looking, everything would have been different.
Ben.
It’s Clear that Ben’s poor self image is constraining his potential. He could have performed much better socially if he was handsome right? The answer is no. It’s a lie. The truth is that Ben was fooled by his mind!!!!
If Ben were charming he would have still failed to establish successful social relations. “looking ugly” is the excuse that he has found for himself for failing in establishing successful relationships.
Every one of us tends to find some excuse to make himself feel good when he fails to do something. Whether this excuse was something like “I am boring”, “they are not nice people” or “I wasn’t in the mood”, still it serves the same purpose: convincing yourself that you couldn’t have done any better.
But there is always a problem with these excuses that tends to make them insufficient for solving the riddle. All of these excuses are based on temporary behavior that can be changed, for example, the excuse of not being in the mood will collapse if the same behaviour was repeated while being in the mood.
In The Solid Self confidence program i explained how Your mind mind sometimes uses excuses in order to protect your ego from being hurt. so what can it do to achieve such a goal? The best thing it can do is to find an excuse that can’t be changed and as you may have guessed that excuse is "I am Looking Ugly" or any other self image related excuse.
Just examine at your past; haven’t you ever made a successful relationship with someone without being affected by your so called "bad looks"? Of course it happened before, so why are you trying to convince yourself that you cannot repeat it?
Because there is something that is preventing you from being confident while talking to new people. The best way your mind finds to help you feel good is to relate your failures to your looks in order not to make you feel bad. A very intelligent trick played by your mind in order to comfort you but its far from the truth.
Even if you haven't had any successful relationship before, just look around you: Is everyone who has successful relationships handsome? Of course not. I bet you
know one or two other guys who are very popular even though they don’t look like models!!
Even if you are not that handsome you can still be loved, become popular and have lots of friends. The only thing that is limiting you now is that false excuse that your mind has chosen to fool you.
Get rid of that false excuse today and you will discover that you were fooled by your own mind. I know people who did so and were amazed to find themselves having successful relationships with newly made friends. It's all about what you believe you can do.
You don’t have to suffer in order to have a perfect body; you just need to know about more powerful techniques that are based on psychology instead of the motivational advice found everywhere. The ultimate guide to weight loss can help lose weight effectively with the least effort and without preventing yourself from eating your favorite food.
Did that Help?
I am always clumsy around people
I am not ugly, the problem is that I think that I look like a fool.
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