After years of researching human psychology i believe i came up with a method that can help you get over worrying and fear of the future for good in 5 minutes. I would be happy to know about your feedback so that i can improve this method even more. For now ill call it Farouk's Theory of worrying.
Almost all schools that try to help people deal with worrying and fear of the feature are based on the same concept which is trying to let the person believe that his fears are irrational, that what he is afraid of can't really happen and to help him think of the positive outcome instead of the negative.
But what if worrying and fear of the future are the results of denial?
When you deny that you are vulnerable and when you deny that this scenario you are afraid of the most might actually happen your mind will remind you of that scenario every now and then.
In other words, worrying is a reminder from your mind that this worst case you are denying might actually happen! Your mind will be like "Hey what if that happened, hey what if you lost your job, what if things gone bad, what if your plan didn't work"
Now based on the previous self help schools you would have just tried to assure your mind that this worst case will never happen but because your mind never believes that it starts worrying.
As you keep denying that worst case your mind keeps resisting by reminding you of it. So worrying is a case of denial of your vulnerability.
Now what if you accepted that you are vulnerable?
What if you admitted that this thing you are afraid of the most might actually happen?
In fact that thing you are afraid of might actually happen, that's a fact! and that's why denying never makes sense to your mind.
Yes you might not get that job you are after, yes your project might fail and yes things can go wrong. As soon as you admit that the worst case might actually happen you will be able to put a very realistic plan to follow in case it happens.
Your self talk will be something like that
"So if i got fired from my job, what will i do? Yes it will feel bad but what are the steps i am going to take? I think i will have to look for another job. It might take some time to find one and i might even need to borrow some money until i do but most probably ill find a new job within 3 month"
Now that will be the first time in your life to start to think of very realistic solution that you will do in case that worst case happens and by doing so you will be reassuring your mind that even if that worst case it has been worrying about happened you will still be prepared.
Its like telling your mind indirectly "look i acknowledge that what you are worried of what can actually happen but even if it did i will do 1,2,3,4. Yes there will be pain but the worst case is now much more tolerable than you thought it would be.
This will be the first time in your life you will not be escaping from that worst case you have been denying since you started worrying.
If you are a person who believes in God then am pretty sure this scenario will sound very familiar: You were worried about something and you kept reassuring yourself that it will never happen because God is there for you and then it happened!
Under that kind of pressure some people start losing faith and the reason it happened is that they look at things incorrectly. The mistake that was made here is that those people were too attached to one scenario in their minds that they refused to admit that another scenario can still happen before God can save them.
What if you lost your job and then God brought you a better one?
Its the same as not losing your first job or even better!
When you don't become flexible enough to accept different scenarios in life then not only you will worry every now and then but you will also lose faith in case that bad scenario happened.
So the problem is not with religious solutions but rather with the way people try to implement them.
So can this theory be put into practical steps? Yes, here you are:
Whether we like it or not we get exposed to a tremendous amount of negativity in our lives. If we didn't balance this negativity with an equivalent amount of positivity we will certainly become pessimistic, sad and eventually depressed.
This is why we launched Optimistnet The Social network for positivity, motivation and inspirational content only! Join Optimistnet today, follow positive people and get your daily dose of positivity.
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