The Ultimate guide to Getting over depression, mood swings & bad moods Based on psychology
Few days ago a friend of mine was telling me that he is worried because lately he has only been attracting ugly people (according to his own opinion about them). My friend had a good point back then.
He said that people pursue the ones they believe they can get and since unattractive people were pursuing him then this might mean that they believe that he is quite attainable.
In other words, his point was, "Had i been good enough they would have never had hope to get me and so they would have never pursed me"
Let me complicate things further by telling you about a study that supports what my friend was saying. A study , which is pretty famous for an unknown reason, says that people pursue the ones who are as attractive as them.
So the study assumes that if i had average looks i will only pursue people who have average looks and so on. So it it really true that being pursued by unattractive people really means that you are unattractive? Lets find out! (see also Similarity and attraction)
Do you remember the last time you pursed someone who was really attractive or a person who is considered much more attractive than you? Do you remember what motivated you to do so?
Its because the person was nice enough to you in such a way that he gave you hope. So we don't actually pursue people who look like us but we go for the ones who give us hope.
Because my friend was kind he treated all people in a good way and because the unattractive ones don't usually get this good treatment they started believing that there might be hope in being with him. (see also How attractive people think)
For them my friend was a catch, he is good looking and in the same time not repelling them the way other attractive than you? No, it only means that she has given you some hope. And because we humans like to get attached to any future possibility that could change our lives we get attracted to those who provide us with hope.
In the city we live in beauty is almost non existent. The good looking females are known by names, not because they are stunning, but because there are too few of them. My friend didn't put this in mind when he was making his argument.
If you are already in a pool that has less desirable people according to your own point of view then most probably the ones you will attract will not appeal to you.
Finally, as for the study that says that people get attracted to those who look like them. Recalling the pictures of the famous celebrities you like will show you in seconds that this study is pure nonsense.
Yes in some cases some people try to be with those who share some common features with them due to self love but this doesn't mean that a totally unattractive person can't fall for an extremely attractive person. And in fact the later case is the one that happens most often.
So the final conclusion is, attracting unattractive people doesn't mean that you are unattractive by all means, it just means that you were nice to them.
2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.
Want to know more?
Do people like the ones who are as physically attractive as them?
Why do people perceive physical attractiveness differently
Why do some people believe that they are unattractive
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