Why do exes look better

Why do Exes change their behaviour after breakups

So you broke up with someone and decided to move on with your life then suddenly saw your them by coincidence and discovered that they look much better. What could have happened?

The good news is that there is a scientific explanation. Right after a breakup a person's actions can change greatly depending on two things: How the relationship affected them and the future plans they have after the breakup.

Also the degree with which a person recovers from a breakups strongly affects his post-breakup actions. The person who fully recovered might take totally different actions than the one who partially recovered (See also signs that your ex has moved on)

Why do Exes look better right after a breakup?

There are many possible reasons but here are the most common ones:

1) Your Ex hasn't fully recovered: If your ex hasn't fully recovered then she might be controlled by the desire to revenge. Your Ex in such a case can work on looking better in order to make you feel bad (See Why revenging against your Ex is a very bad idea)
2) Scarce things appear more valuable: Scarcity always makes things appear more valuable than they truly are. Since your Ex is no longer available your brain can alter your perception of them and make them look much more attractive. In other words it's just in your mind (See how your beliefs affect your perception).
3) The relationship was abusive: If the relationship was abusive or if your Ex was suffering because of the relationship for any reason then the relief of emotional pain might make them look better few weeks or even days after breaking up.
4) Your Ex wants to attract a new partner: This usually happens with women where they focus more on their looks when they are single in order to attract a new partner fast (See also Why women let themselves go after marriage).
5) Regret makes things look better: Regret can make the things we lost look much better. It's too common for a person to find something that he lost more valuable just because he regrets losing it

What to do about that

The first and the most important thing you need to do is to avoid getting exposed to your Ex. In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i explained how continues exposure to someone can make them seem much more attractive to you.

When you stay away from your Ex you will allow your mind to get over them easily (See also why closing a relationship is very important for recovery).

Next you need to talk less about your Ex in front of your friends because according to the subconscious mind programming theory the more your friends tell you that your Ex was great the more attractive your Ex will seem to be.

In other words your friends can easily program your mind so that you find your Ex much more attractive. In addition to this the same theory states that by taking about a person more often you are actually programming your own mind to like that person.

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