Dealing with stubborn children

Many parents wonder how to deal with stubborn children?
Before i can answer this question let me first tell you why do some kids become stubborn.

As a result of the experiences kids pass through earlier in their lives they develop defense mechanisms that helps them maintain their psychological balance in the face of life challenges. (see How to understand people).

When a parent becomes over protective and makes all the choices for his kid the child develops stubbornness as a defense mechanism that helps him stick to his opinion in the face of the controlling parent!!

So after all stubborn children are the product of our controlling and over protective behavior. In this article i will tell you about the right way for dealing with stubborn children.

The right way to deal with stubborn children

Since a stubborn child has the goal of protecting himself from being being controlled by others its extremely important that the parent make the child feel that is in control even if he was not.

If your kid is so stubborn then try to give him more than once choice instead of giving him a direct order. An intelligent way in dealing with a stubborn child would be giving him two options that lead to the same goal.

For example instead of telling the stubborn kid that he must wear his shirt because its cold you can ask him whether he wants to wear the blue or the red shirt.

For a stubborn kid that would be enough not to trigger his stubbornness as he will feel in control while for the parent it would fulfill the same final goal.

We are responsible for the existence of stubborn children

If your child is still in the early stages of development then try not to be controlling or over protective so that he doesn't develop stubbornness as a result.

It would be much easier to raise a non stubborn child from the beginning than to raise a stubborn one then wonder how you can deal with him.

If your kid is already stubborn then don't worry, stubbornness can be channeled into persistence by encouraging the kid to be stubborn in the face of life problems. A stubborn child can become a very persistent adult if he was taught how to channel his stubbornness in the right direction.

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